Knit Picker

When I was growing up I thought a nit picker was just a person who picked everything apart and was a nag and a irritating perfectionist. It wasn't until I was an adult that I even contemplated what the word actually meant! As a nurse I have had the opportunity on more than one occasion to check the heads of my patients or a worried friend's child for signs of head lice or nits (the eggs of the louse). I am a nit picker! (hush your mouth, Kevin) It wasn't until I checked the head of one patient and a head louse actually jumped a foot in the air and almost landed on me that I realized that I had just been lucky so far to never had found any lice or nits and I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER be a school nurse or volunteer to pick nits EVER again!

But... on Saturday I learned to knit! And now I'm now a knit picker! I decided this was appropriate because right now I spend more time picking and pulling at my work that actually knitting... I keep stopping to stretch out my handiwork and thumb through each little stitch to see if it looks like the one before. And I think how just the day before I couldn't knit a stitch and now I have created 4 inches of a scarf! It will take me til Christmas I'm sure, but I'll get it done. It's not perfect but I like to keep my mistakes intact because it reminds me of my progress. So I knit a row and then pull and pick and admire for 10 minutes before starting my next row.

I LOVE learning new things... and did you know that knitters have their own language? I've already learned to cast on, to knit, to slip a stitch as if to knit and to slip a stitch as if to pearl. Some time this week I'm going to learn how to pearl. (I don't know if this is how to spell these things, but it sounded like what they were saying.) So, of course my goal is to be able to knit something for my daughter before she is born. I haven't decided what yet... I need to get my scarf finished first. Also, for me the best way to retain something new that I've learned is to teach it to someone else. I'm trying to convince Kevin to let me teach him to knit. Priceless. ;)

Kevin says this is the perfect new hobby for me because I'm already an old lady at heart. I think this is rude for two reasons. 1. Everyone I know who knits is young and 2. My ONLY other admitted old lady tendency is my love of Luby's cafeteria... But Kevin likes it too! We went on a date there last week.... after 7 pm! There were two people there younger than us and they looked like little girls who were there with there grandparents. I like old ladies, but I really don't think I am one. And I'm pretty willing to admit most of my weirdness.

My sister tried to teach me how to crochet a few years ago, but I never became independent because I never mastered the art of turning. I could continue to crochet in one long single line forever and ever and it was pretty..... but we only had one pet snake, and therefore only needed one snake afghan. The beauty I have found thus far in knitting is that there are no turns! Just one row and then another and another... (There may be some sort of a fancy turn stitch to make something cooler like a sweater or a purse) Of course this might mean that I may only ever make a bunch of scarfs, but I know LOTs of people with necks, so it's ok!

Here is a photo of my scarf so far! YAY!

Comment-Etiquette (Commetiquette?)

Our little Curley girl is moving all around! This is really fun! She seems to even have a sleep/wake schedule already. And when she is awake, she is really going to town! Kevin says he loves the idea that she is so comfortable in there that she just falls asleep and then wakes up and punches her mom in the stomach. :-) It is a wonderful thought.

So, I have a question. When someone leaves a blog comment that is a question or needs a response in some way, what is the most appropriate way to respond? Like on the Curley Fry posting, my friend Loree left a comment asking a very good vocabulary question! Some might say that all comments left on a blog posting are rhetorical and do not require a response. But, I feel bad not replying and ESPECIALLY not answering a question! So...

1. Should I reply back in the comment section of the same posting?


2. Should I reply in a separate posting that everyone will read?


3. Should I reply in the comment section of the current posting on their blog? (What if they don't have a blog?)


4. Should I email the person separately and answer their question or respond to their comment?


5. Should I assume the question or comment is rhetorical or meant only to be funny and just leave it alone?

Until now, I have been practicing #5, but not a true believer in this practice. So for Loree's question, I did #3, but then decided she might be checking back on my blog for an answer so I also did #1. Then I decided to just ask the Curley blog reading world to answer my question. This is not a rhetorical question. Anyone with an opinion, please leave it! Pregnancy has caused me to obsess about things like this, and it also causes upsetting, crying outbursts if I don't get an answer.

Also, my cousin Hey Hey Hay has been asking for pregnancy pics, and she came up with a brilliant idea! I decided to post periodic belly pics of me in my MATERNITY SCRUBS! Brilliant! I love them! It will give me ANOTHER excuse to wear them and appease those who want to see my belly grow! Hayley, you're so smart! We can also see if these scrubs make it all the way to February... the lady at the shop assured me that the stretchy panels on the pants and top could take me ALL THE WAY! If they don't disintegrate from the daily washings first. Stay tuned for the first edition of the Big Belly Chronicles.

Later.

Stretchy Pants

Tomorrow I will be 19 weeks! Baby Curlette will be here before we know it! My mind just swirls thinking about how everything is about to change forever! I can't wait though! I think she will fit in nicely with our little family. Here we are on our way to go fishing. Kevin will soon be WAY out-numbered by females. What will he do? At least we took care of Beans' raging hormones, but if what we've experienced already while I've been carrying this little girl is any indication about our future.... I have a feeling Kevin will soon be calming the hormonal tears and outbursts of not only his wife, but of his precious daughter as well. It is building his character... I'm sure of it. :)

Kevin came home from Bass Pro Shops with a tiny camouflage bib! It is the cutest thing I think I've ever seen! Except for the little red dress I bought for our baby girl... it is perfect! I'm obsessed! I can't think of anything else. In fact I hope none of my bosses read this because I am just going to go ahead and admit that everything at work has taken a seat way in the back, behind all of my daydreaming and talking about my baby girl. I've even written her a letter, and I have dreams about her! Anyone who is sick and tired of me, just walk away... I promise I won't be offended, I probably won't even notice, I'll just keep talking!

A couple of weeks ago I bought my first maternity top. I ordered it online and it came in the mail. Here's a pic, except mine is a plum color. Isn't it cute? I was sure that I was going to be so super cute in it just like this girl? But I put it on and it looks like I'm wearing a purple circus tent! So I decided it was too early and put it in the closet, but then about a week later (early last week), I began to slowly freak out little by little. I couldn't STAND to have anything touching my belly! One day at work I was wearing these big pants (already a size too big and very baggy looking) and by the end of the day after having them hanging below my gut and then trying to pull them up under my chin, I actually had to just unbutton and unzip my pants and just hold them together. So I left that day on a mission to find some pants I could wear without having to use both hands just to keep from shining my hiney all over the place. And what I found was a gift from GOD! MATERNITY SCRUBS! Most of the time I do not have to wear scrubs at work, but some days I do, and I have decided that I may just wear them every single day until I deliver... and maybe home from the hospital and for the rest of my life too! THEY FEEL SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOD! Why didn't someone tell me? Why doesn't every human being wear these all the time? So from now on whenever you see me, at church or at work or around town or out in the yard or at the symphony.... I'll be wearing these exquisite garments! Remember on "Friends" when Joey wore Phoebe's maternity pants as his "thanksgiving pants?" I have found my very own Thanksgiving pants! I think I might get Kevin some too! We could always use them at the holidays!

Last thing... Many of you know my sister, and those who do might categorize her as one interesting character. I was getting on to her the other day for not answering my quirk off challenge when she said to me "I just don't think I am very quirky... I need some help with it." This is the same sister, who at age 30, had to bury her 20 year old pet snake and decided to fill the loss in her heart and home by buying 6 poison dart tree frogs on the internet.... which were delivered to her by mail. The same sister who has to get 3 different drinks every time she stops at Sonic. (She has a "reasonable" explanation for this, I'll let her explain) The same sister who takes ALL night to open a gift-wrapped box because she doesn't want to tear the paper. ( I know you are all thinking about people you know who do this, but do any of those people STILL HAVE pieces of their favorite wrapping paper from their childhood gifts 20-25 years later?) The same sister who used to chew Extra Gum (Spearmint -- you know the booger-green-colored one?) and each day she would take out her piece of neon green gum and stick it on an index card and then write the date on the card what she did that day.... she had a cabinet full of these, until my mom found them. The same sister who will stop in the middle of the rural highway in the dark to "rescue" a renegade cow standing in the middle of the road. The same sister who has a collection of stolen rocks on the floorboard of her car because they "look cool." The same sister who, when ordering just for herself at Chick-fil-a, asks for 9 packets of honey, and will refuse anything less. I'm just saying... a little self-awareness goes a long way, Les. I could go on all day! So whenever you're ready. Actually several of you people did not answer the challenge..... GET TO WORK!

Our small fry, Curley fry that is

It's a GIRL!

I was NOT happy about being wrong, and less happy about Kevin being right... BUT, so VERY HAPPY about our baby girl!!!! !!!!! !!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! !!! !!!!! (This is what my brain feels like... !!!!!) I can't believe it. I have never wanted 5 months of my life to go by so quickly before. We are trying to post a clip of our DVD of the little one, but it seems to be highly encrypted or something.... or we just don't know what we're doing... so we may not get to. But she is super active. I told Kevin that I felt her flipping around a couple of times last week, but even I didn't believe myself. The sonographer assured me that I WAS feeling her, she was impressed with her activity level and flippy-ness. Maybe she'll be the star of the 2024 Olympics! Or even earlier if we move to China and destroy all evidence of her real age/birthdate... such as this blog... I probably shouldn't get ahead of myself, because although I liked to flip around as a youngster too (and had a great time in gymnastics when I was little) the actual appearance of all my flipping was actually a whole lot more like flopping.... but with a very dramatic flare at the finish. I'll get you all a clip of this too.... again, I had FUN, and that's what matters in life. I didn't realize at the time that I should have been a little embarrassed. Life is easier that way!

Baby Curlette was standing straight up and sort of bouncing on my bladder... which I have also been feeling! She frustrated the sonographer (the one with a million years of experience) because she wouldn't cooperate for her to easily visualize all the organs, vessels and "parts." I'm betting on stubbornness vs. modesty.... a safe bet considering the gene pool.

We just want her to get here! I don't want to wish this time away.... but I am....... everyone says savor it and enjoy it and take it all in, but I just want to hold that baby girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most importantly.... her brain, heart, kidneys, stomach, aorta and other major arteries, lips, hands, feet, legs and spine all appear to be perfect. It was the most exhilarating feeling to hear those words and see the perfect little structures. Although I know our baby and our lives will not always be perfect, it surely was nice to hear at this stage. And it was not lost on us that many parents don't get to hear those magical words. For those moments, thanks be to God alone. We were thankful, grateful and humbled in that room yesterday. Our baby girl was created just as each of us with many gifts and "perfect imperfections." We can't wait to see all of hers as she grows up!!

More to come.... You people are going to get sick of me! Oh..... and the crying..... worse than EVER! (like trying to type the paragraph above) I'll elaborate more. I realize that I state things like this all the time... Master of the obvious. Like anyone doesn't think I'll elaborate.... I am the biggest elaborator of them all! But at least I have a little self-awareness. I do know that Kevin, for instance, will not have read this entire entry.... he "scans" because "you just write sooooo much Abby." But, I also know that when he "scans" and sees his name he will go back and read the whole thing and make sure that there is nothing that will shame him more than the stories I've already told about bodily fluids.

Twinkle twinkle in-a-cup!

I’m growing incredibly impatient!! So impatient that on Sunday I just went ahead and did the Drano-pee-test, a mere 2 days before we finally find out the gender of the baby! So impatient that even though the only kind of Drano my grocery store carried was Drano Max GEL, I tried the test out anyway. Kevin tried to convince me that this was in vain, and I guess he was right. What we were looking for, according to the legend of the Drano... was BROWN or GREEN = BOY and RED or ANY OTHER COLOR = GIRL. Based solely on visualizing the specimen (and feeling the outside of the cup) what we created was very similar to warm beer! As you can see, I was exasperated! This is my "I-have-no-make-up-on-and-I'm-tired-and-I-just-can't-wait-any-longer-to-find-out-what-we're-having-and-I'm-exasperated-about-the-outcome-of-this-test-since-I-could-only-find-Drano-Max-Gel" face.

So, what did I do?? I went to visit my good friend Tom Thumb after work today in search of more Drano..... the real deal.... Not the fancy stuff. When I get home, Kevin was wondering why we needed to spend the additional $8 when we were going to find out FOR REAL tomorrow!! Less than 18 hours!! I can't explain it.... but I was compelled.... and again, slightly disappointed. As you can see... as I mixed the substrate and the catalyst (is that right?) we witnessed a slightly more dramatic bubbling.... and a BAD ODOR being emitted from the cup.... but NO color change - again! So either 1. this test is CRAP and doesn't work OR 2. I did the test wrong OR 3. the "any other color" rule means we're having a girl and I have been wrong about boy all along and I already feel like a bad mother. :( (Sad face not related to having a girl.... just to being wrong)

We'll soon know! I hope we have a cooperative, immodest little Curley who doesn't mind showing us his/her goodies this one time.... about 2-ish on Tuesday 9/9. You can be sure we'll show you too!

I've just been informed by my husband of the following information "Babe...no one wants to see your pee! Just like no one wants to hear about your stool softeners." I say.... I'm not forcing ANYONE to read this! And maybe some people do wanna know this stuff! I've decanted more urine in my life than most of you can imagine... pee is just not a big deal, and if I've offended anyone with the pic of my pee... well, you can just join Kevin's team... but I'm warning you, its a team that has less fun in life than my team. :) PLUS, I love science!!

Also -- Miss Refried Jumping Beans Curley had her first taste of Refried Beans yesterday! She LOVES raw green beans and baked beans with brown sugar.... but this was her first taste of her namesake. Its her favorite new food... this is the spoon we save for our special guests!

Stay tuned on Wednesday for the big news! Later!

BEEF baby

Everyone said it would just happen one day! I think it finally has! I started "showing" today. (So fitting that it happened on Labor Day, to remind me that this thing, I mean this baby, is going to get REALLY BIG and my own personal LABOR day will not be parades and snow cones and water sports.) My concern now is that I'm getting excited for nothing, because this new shape to my tummy could very well be due to the TWO prime rib dinners I had this weekend.... or the GIANT piece of chocolate cake, or the wedding cake or the focaccia or the lasagna al forno.... so... we'll have to see how it holds up.

*

Today is 16 weeks, 1 day. Maybe you can surmise from the intro that I've been feeling a little better. I hated to blog about it before now, because I didn't want to jinx it. Here's what happened. One night I decided to take my prenatal vitamin early in the evening. (Rather than at bedtime like my doc told me to do.) And about 20/30 min later I was sooooooo siiiiiiiiiick... all evening and the next day as usual. And it occurred to me... early in the process, I had tried several of the different vitamin samples from my doctor and settled on this one for its claim of "stool softening" properties... can't go wrong there right? I mean everyone says this is going to be a BIG problem, so I decided to get a jump on it. Now I suspected this pill was my problem, and the next evening I took a different vitamin, and it has been a world of difference ever since! I have had a couple of moments of nausea, but NOTHING like it had been. I try not to think about the fact that all this misery was ALL because of those stupid vitamins the whole time.... Then one of my close friends at work tells me "I don't know why I didn't think to tell you that! The same thing happened to me!!" :-(

*

So all the info says I should be having fewer mood swings now. But if I see that Sarah McLachlan/SPCA commercial one more time with that poor one-eyed, shivering puppy, I'm gonna adopt something! I don't think I've had MANY mood swings lately (ask Kevin for his version of the truth though) but I have to say, at least all the crying now has a point! Although its making everyday life (like listening to music or watching movies or day-dreaming about anything) more difficult, at least I can now say I'm crying about SOMETHING!

*

My whole family went to a wedding this weekend. We're at the table with old friends we hardly ever see and the STUPID father daughter dance is all about "I loved her first..." or something ridiculous like that and I'm quietly blubbering to myself with my face semi-covered trying to control it and my mom and sister say "ARE YOU CRYING????" And everyone turns and laughs and pities me and now I'm slightly hysterical and laugh-crying. And my sweet, silly dad comes over and says "I loved you first." AAAAAAAAAH!! Stop it people! Don't you know I'm FRAGILE! I excused myself and re-gained control. I guess I'll be ok, as long as I don't take anything too seriously for the next few months. I shouldn't be in much danger. :-)

*

Miss Beans ate a plate on Saturday night while we were at the wedding. It was a paper plate that her dad hastily took outside with her dinner on it. You see, we were running a tad late because I had decided to do some last minute shopping and came home to try something on for him. (ok, so my judgment is seriously impaired by this pregnancy... not my shopping judgment, it is getting better... as evidenced by deciding at 3 pm to drive 30 minutes to a shopping center for an outfit to wear to a wedding in Dallas at 6 pm... and the things I came home with were VERY CUTE... I was efficient and found some GREAT deals -thanks Jennifer- ....but then I came home and asked Kevin to give me HIS opinion?? What's wrong with me?) I would have known simply by the look on his face that he did not approve of my first choice, but he insisted on elaborating about the "HUGE ZEBRA CAPE" I was wearing. Does it surprise you that I did not cry? I didn't! So with my second choice dress on, we're headed to the car and Kevin takes Beans and her dinner outside to Bean Arena (where she stays while we're out). When we got home, she'd eaten all her dinner and the plate too. She'll be fine though... She doesn't look sick to me... I promise everyone, if my baby eats a whole plate, I'll take action. But Beans has eaten much worse.

the quirk off

I guess this is one of the things I signed up for when I decided to become a blogger. I was challenged/tagged by my ooooooold friend Amanda to list 6 quirky things about me (why 6 anyway?)... here goes... BEWARE -- I don't even know what I'm going to say. :)

1. I LOVE the dentist - 2 reasons.... I LOVE the laughing gas... its a good thing I didn't go into dental hygiene, because I would have been fired and had my license stripped from me for sneaking off to get a little hit of gas. Second reason, I LOVE to have that heavy lead apron draped over me when they take x-rays. I wish I had one of those at home... a very safe and secure feeling.

2. I love pus. This usually doesn't help me make friends... I know. But I'm a pimple popping, skin peeling, pus loving freak. It's the most satisfying feeling to squeeze a bunch of nasty purulence from a pimple or boil or even better..... an abscess!! Also peeling a sunburn gives me a similar satisfaction. I think this is actually fairly common, but I love it so much I've managed to revolve my career around it. Remember you should NEVER squeeze one of these things without supervision... call me and I'll be there.

3. I'm fascinated (obsessed at times) with predatory birds. I like to watch them, study about them etc... I think their place in the ecosystem is invaluable (maybe the deep love and respect comes from the fact that they hunt rodents... have I mentioned I hate rodents?). Falcons are my favorite, and I plan on learning the sport of falconry at some point before I die. One time I made the mistake of telling Kevin "I love birds of prey..." You would think you could share your interests with your partner in life. He told all his friends and they laughed at me for days.

4. Nothing gives me bigger creeps than mouse pads. The old kind when the mice had the little ball on it. There is a similar texture to some bicycle seats. iiiggg! Chills up my spine, heebie jeebies... and I don't even have to touch it, just thinking about it is creeeeeeepy enough.

5. I think I'm a criminal deep down, or maybe I was in a past life. :) Or maybe I'm just very impressionable, but a few examples... The movie A Long Kiss Goodnight, left me wishing I were an assassin. Gone in 60 seconds made me want to steal cars. The Sopranos always leaves me dreaming of being in the mafia. There are a few more...

6. If we didn't have bills to pay and I had unlimited funds, I would get one degree after another for the rest of my life. Not advanced degrees, but just so I could truly know a little bit about everything. I know I could do this without college classes, but I LOVED CLASSES! I could sit in a lecture hall,take notes, read and take exams forever! (except in physics or statistics... I see no need for these subjects at all) Many of you may be surprised by my love of classes, especially if we were friends in high school when I especially liked to find other things to do besides go to my classes.... but its true.

So I challenge you to a quirk off... Starting with Brandie, Jessica, Amanda Cox, Loree and since Leslie hasn't replied to Amanda's challenge she is re-tagged.

Excuse me, I have a hairball

First of all… I have an Olympics crush on Phil Dalhousser. How cute is he? He’s like a cross between Ben Affleck and Mr. Clean (two of the hottest hotties!) I’m not usually attracted to the bald-headed male, but, I’d really like to take his slick head right off his skinny thin-beast-of-a-body and slap it on Michael Phelps’ headless torso. I believe we’d have ourselves the sexiest Olympian alive. I’m really sad its all over... 2 years yet for the winter sports... But for a while we’ll still get to see all these summer guys on EVERY day time and late night talk show on TV. Someone be sure to tell me if they hear Phil is going to be on.

Girls… I need to discuss. When you have stray hairs that come out during the hair washing portion of the daily shower, don’t you stick them on the side of the shower so they don’t go down the drain and clog everything up? I know I’m not the only one, in fact just yesterday, I had this discussion with my friend Cassie who says she does the same thing. Unless you have boy-short hair or are having an affair with the roto-rooter man, I know you do this too! But Kevin just doesn’t understand. He thinks its SOOO gross and I am just SOOO gross for doing it. OK, so maybe I occasionally forget to take the hairball with me when I leave the shower and he rubs his shoulder up against in while taking a shower after me…sorry babe… but most of the time I take it and trash it and save him COUNTLESS dollars in Drano costs and plumbing fees. (See I’d rather be plumbing for more on this) He should really be thanking me every time he sees that hairball.

Along with other fun things about being pregnant… my hair is falling out... like I’m molting! I can fill the sink each morning with this hair that is still on my head, but not attached. And, immediately following the filling of the sink (I do pick up the hair out of the sink and and throw away each time so none will go down the drain or go all over the floor) is the daily hair-washing which produces an equally giant but WET version of the sink hairball, on the shower wall. All throughout the day I can be seen running my hands through my hair and coming out with countless strands and handfuls that are no longer connected to their follicles. Then at night I go through the sink filling cycle AGAIN! And what I have just detailed to you is a minimum... sometimes there is MUCH MORE HAIR!! Note that this is a year-round, life-long issue because I have LOTS of hair on my head, but it has multiplied by about 500x. (No... I don't think I'm being dramatic or over-exaggerating)

So, someone please explain to me how all this can happen....at the same time....that EVERY HAIR I have had painstakingly and "permanently" removed over the last few years, with a high powered (did I mention painful?) laser, has begun to grow back!!!

Hair on my head... kind of nice, I'd like to keep it... FALLING OUT!

Hair everywhere else... zillions of dollars spent on permanent laser hair removal.... growing in nicely! Really full and thick! FALL OUT WHY DON'T YOU!!

And the next person who tells me its the just the hormones... I might beat you with a wet hairball!

I need to express something.

Last night, our Baby Beans got into a fight with a opossum. (Typing this word puzzles me… the a/an rule is challenged here, I believe, because you don’t say Oh-Possum which would require the standard “an” but it seems wrong to put “a” in front of a noun that begins with a vowel. Its against the rules! It goes against everything I’ve ever known about the a/an statute. And now I don’t even know which one is right! A or AN?? Someone HELP! The issues we nerds deal with are really very taxing for our psyches.)

Back to the story, Kevin and I took Beans outside last night to prepare for a little ANAL GLAND EXPRESSION. Seems like once a year or so, Beans gets one of those darn things clogged up, and needs a little assistance with her self-expression. Even though my profession has required the occasional digital exam of certain areas and/or the digital removal of certain unmentionable substances, I just can’t bring myself to do this similar procedure on my Baby Beans. She doesn’t understand, and I would just prefer to let the vet (who charges like 15 dollars for this!) go there. But, alas, it always seems necessary in the middle of the night or on the weekend… so DAD gets to do it! I am in charge of holding her booty still while her sweet dad pokes around back there to see what he can express. (We do this because it is stinky and causes her pain if it stays clogged... its not just to have something to do after work) So, we began the preparations, but Beans decided to make one more attempt at self-expression in the side yard. But before any business can commence we see her take off… followed by all kinds of commotion and barking in the corner of the yard that is completely invisible at night. Luckily Kevin brought the flashlight for the aforementioned task at hand, and the beam revealed the NASTY and also extremely angry creature that had now climbed to the top of our fence. Great… the only thing worse than a/an opossum in my yard, is a pissed off opossum in my yard… staring at us from above. There is only ONE thing I hate more than these GIANT RATS… but there is no need for me to go there on this fine day. Another day maybe. So I say... (from inside the screen door where I have retreated with Beans, who apparently whipped that little cuss word without a scratch on her…I’m so proud!) “Do you want me to bring your gun?” Kevin laughs but to my happy surprise says “No I’ll come get it.” I am so excited. I will pay the fine or whatever happens when you shoot something in your backyard in the middle of the city. No cost would be too great. I just want to see the thing in several pieces. But he goes into the garage… NOT where the big guns are kept… and brings in this piddly little pellet gun. What? What is that gonna do? So I say “Umm why don’t you go get your fancy shotgun with the 3 INCH MAGNUMS that excite you so, and blow that rat to pieces?” (I don’t really know what this means AT ALL, but I hear him saying weird crap like this sometimes so I thought it might be appropriate) He’s not listening to me but instead contemplates his wussy choice of gun and says “This thing won’t work… Let’s trap it!!” “Trap my FOOT!!” (or something like that) Then all you have is a pissed off opossum… in a trap… in my backyard!! Get the magnums!! I’ll do it myself!

I think he finally poked it with a stick or something and made it jump the fence into my neighbor’s yard. My hero… What good are all those stupid guns if you aren’t gonna shoot the bad guys with them?

All that adrenaline Miss Beans had after her brawl with the ugly beast must have worked up a hearty enough poop to help her express herself! So… no need to hold her hiney now! We’re all fine, but I was a little nervous to go outside this morning… I am gonna need to start packin heat just to walk in my own backyard! And don't think I wont blow those little tiny opossum brains out! So get on the road, Oh-Possum!

Keep Dreamin

I'm a little melancholy. My very good friend Shannon lost her mother this week and I had my first experience with "making arrangements." Please pray for her as she buries her mother tomorrow. I can't begin to imagine. So this is why its been a few days since I blogged, and why I don't have any knee slappin stories to tell.

But, last night I had my first baby dream. My many preggy friends kept telling me how often they dreamed about pregnancy and their baby… and I haven't had any. I have only had super weird dreams about swinging from light fixtures and such. (No need to elaborate, that’s all there was to it... twice) So I was feeling a little jealous… until this morning. In the dream, Kevin and I had a little boy. The nurse brought him in and he was dressed like a girl, with a white dress-like garment with lace on it. And Kevin wanted to name him Texoma (in the dream…which to me is totally a girl name). I tried it, but I put my foot down and declared “No, the baby’s name is Owen!” After the decision was made, Kevin kept accidentally calling the baby Luke (which is one of the handful of boy names we are actually considering) and I got so frustrated and kicked him out of the grocery store! I proceeded to weigh the baby over and over in one of the hanging produce scales that hung between the hospital beds. I never got a result though… and it wasn’t a weight I was looking for. I wanted the scale to tell me the baby’s real name.

Here is the one from 2 nights before. I went to a tattoo parlor to get my lip pierced, and they missed and pierced my cheek instead. I drove to another tattoo shop to get it fixed and they said I’m sorry the damage is already done, there’s nothing we can do about it! Any dream analysts out there for me?

I have one idea (fear) about the baby dream and that is… I’m either having a mannish baby girl… or a baby boy who will want to dress like a girl. That’s as deep as I can get these days. If its true, I promise to love Little Curley unconditionally. Oh, and apparently I’m obsessed with the Wilson brothers and didn’t even know it! Which one do you think she will look like?

That's a good question...

I'm 14 weeks 1 day... for those keeping track... keep reading to find out about our last appointment. Oh yeah... still lots of gagging and heaving, but less actual puking! I think this is due to my new, strict regimen of 65 ginger snaps daily.

Its no secret that I pretty much act the same around everyone in my life. I haven't always been this way, but as an adult I have found much security and contentment in being so consistent. I find that the way I live is more comfortable than always trying to change to meet everyone's expectations. My husband, however, does not find it to be quite as comfortable. But I'm just ME... all the time... like it or lump it.

While at our first doctor's appointment (back at 5 weeks gestation) our doctor kept asking us questions regarding our prenatal treatment and expectations. And I have a hard time just answering some questions outright, without gathering as much info from the "expert" as I can. I do the same thing every time the waiter takes my order at a restaurant. I ask the waiter..."What is your favorite thing?" To me this is a perfectly reasonable question, these guys are professionals... they do this stuff day in and day out... I wanna know their opinions. I don't know why it irritates Kevin so. Except maybe it has something to do with the fact that after I gather the information, I assimilate it for a moment and then order something that is a permutation of the waiter's suggestion and what I was going to order, but not exactly on the menu at all. :) Sometimes all the info gathering is a little embarrassing to Kevin like when I asked our medical professional about her personal opinion on circumcision.

At our doctor's appointment last Thursday we listened to Little Curley's heart rate with the Doppler again. SO FUN! The heart rate was 148-150...which is perfect... and has Kevin now believing its a boy too. He read something about if the heart rate is less than 160 at this stage, it means boy, greater than 160 means girl. And I asked the doctor about the accuracy of the "hair-through-the-wedding-ring-hanging-over-your-palm" test for predicting the gender of the baby. (See my sex blog for more about this!) She said there's a 50% chance that the test is accurate! :) I love that my doctor can appreciate my personality a little bit... but of course Kevin is horrified that I would behave this way in front of our doctor. Any of you who know him are probably thinking "hmmm... so its KEVIN who is the mature one after all???"

I know its wrong, but now I'm just trying to think of questions to ask that will horrify Kevin! :) Don't tell him. He doesn't even read "our" blog unless I make him... so he'll never know. As I began thinking about this task, I recalled a few of my favorite questions from my pregnancy book. My doctor gave us a book called 1000 questions about pregnancy. (this is a rip, because i have found the "what is an episiotomy and will it hurt?" question about 15 times... so it's only 976 questions about pregnancy at best) I thought I'd offer a list of my favorites for you...

These are my favorites... Verbatim... except for the commentary, this is mine.

Do I have to wear those maternity panties that go way up over my tummy? I hate the word panties, you all know this, but I also think this person crossed the line asking her doctor about her choice of underwear. This is way worse than me.
Can I exercise with twins? I've been exercising with my twins since puberty. Not always super comfortable, but with the right sports bra, I've had no problem.
What does dipstick mean? Some of these don't need my commentary
When and where does conception take place? :) This is different for each couple
How about the membranes? Is this like "How 'bout them Cowboys?"
Can heroin harm the fetus? There are 2 ways to answer this question... 1. ummmm... yes idiot 2. only if WonderWoman hauls off and kicks you right in the belly.
Can I continue to use a tanning bed while I'm pregnant? That's just what I want... lets darken up these stretch marks and see if we can make them permanent...
Imodium AD just isn't strong enough for my diarrhea, is there something else? I'm sorry, not funny, just tragic in a laugh-so-you-don't-cry way.
I don't know much about my anatomy in my genital area, what will I need to know? WHAT? Didn't you GET pregnant?
My doctor said I wasn't engaged yet, what does that mean? It means you better get your baby daddy and get down to the courthouse.

And my favorites... these are the ones I'm leaning toward asking my doc at the next appointment, just to see what color Kevin will turn. :) I love him so! And please know he totally deserves this, I'm not just a big meanie. He lives to get reactions from people... He comes by it honestly though... my mother-in-law is the QUEEN. I hope you all get to meet her one day. You'll love her!

What exactly is the uterus?
and
I like to smoke a little pot from time to time. Is this ok while I'm pregnant?

I just realized I have a Top 10 list. (12... whatever...) Do they take suggestions on Dave Letterman? hmmm... I would probably get sued for stealing the questions from Dr. Thurston's book. I'm not knocking the book for sure! He is local, after all, and delivers babies at MY hospital. I wouldn't want him to hear that I was poking fun at his book... So I should take moment and say I have learned a ton from this book in spite of the above questions. It is a darn good reference, with lots of good scientific explanations for nerds like me. But I guess it was a stretch to try to think of 1000 original questions about pregnancy. I think he did good!

IF you need an actual answer to one of the questions above, don't hesitate to ask me. I have all the answers in black and white. I will not make fun of you... publicly...

Also, we will find out what kind of baby Little Curley is on September 9. We are going to try to make a little money on this, so we'll probably start a betting pool and take a percentage off the top. Baby's gotta eat! Stay tuned. And let me know if you have any other good questions for my little experiment! LATER.

Sniff this!

First of all… I’m mad at all of you… no one answered my question in my sex blog… (except Sara… love ya thara) So unless I get some answers, I think that is the end of my attempt at interactive blogging.

There are SO MANY weird things about being pregnant! I have compiled a few for you. (For my ultra conservative friends, I promise not to get graphic… I know many of you still fear that everything I say and write will just go TOO FAR….so I'm keeping it appropriate for general audiences) Speaking of, I just finished reading Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy. This is the book she wrote about her own pregnancy. Graphic…YES! Vulgar…YES! Full of bad language…YES! Funny…OH YES!!! So I can’t exactly “recommend” it because some of you would be horribly offended, but it’s a funny twist on real life, and that’s how I roll. You know going into it that she is pretty raunchy and used to be a Playboy Playmate, so you kind of have it coming if you pick it up…

BACK TO THE LIST:

Naps – I have never been a big nap taker or sleeper… I tend to fight it, because I’m afraid that Val Kilmer is going to knock softly on my front door and if I’m asleep… I’ll miss him!! I have had this fear since adolescence! (I also don’t want to miss Johnny Depp if he stops by) So, naps are hard for me. But since I got knocked up…. EXHAUSTION like I didn’t know existed… And when the acute phase happens and I feel like I might die if I don’t sleep… I say “I’m just going to lie down for 30 minutes” and 3 hours later when I wake up, I’m still tired! One weekend, I took a total of 8 hours worth of naps! No doubt this is when Val came by. Dang it!

The crying game - This is weird and embarrassing and oh so pointless. Just a few of the things I have cried about… 1.I was in the grocery store feeling like puking and I smelled the fish at the meat counter. I held my nose, ran my cart across the store and then cried. 2.When I realized that I had to go back to the grocery store the next week, I cried thinking about how I could not avoid the meat counter to get the things on my list. 3.Yesterday when I saw someone driving in the HOV lane with only one person in the car…I can’t believe this is the kind of world I am bringing my child into! 4.I was craving carbs and went to Church’s Chicken to get some mashed potatoes and corn on the cob. My order “Side of Mashed Potatoes -no gravy- and a corn on the cob.” He repeated my order and I said “NO GRAVY ON THE MASHED POTATOES right?” as loud as I could through the drive through speaker. When I got to the window and he gave me the bag with my order, I said “did you get NO GRAVY on the potatoes?” He looked at me crazy and said “Yes.” So I drive away. The only thing that would have been worse at that moment than finding cream gravy on my mashed potatoes, was the horror that I did find…a tiny scoop of potatoes drowning in the middle of the bowl of BROWN GRAVY! I parked and cried. 5. This one is Kevin’s favorite… I’m walking around the house and he hears “sniff-sniff.” Perplexed, he asks “Are you crying?” Me – “sniff sniff… yes” Kevin – “Why? what’s wrong?” Me – “sniff… I don’t know – waaahahaaaa!” 6. One particularly sickly day I had been able to keep very little down, I finally was able to eat an entire blueberry muffin without getting sick… but 30 minutes later when I puked it up, all I could do was blubber about my wasted muffin.

CRAVINGS – This is kind of fun, because when else do you indulge your cravings? Chocolate Teddy Grahams, Fried Okra, Ketchup, Cocoa Krispies, Hot Wings… to name a few! I craved a donut, but haven’t had one yet. Unfortunately I can only stomach a tiny bit of these items… But its fun to just go purchase and eat something and never give its nutritional value a second thought!

Smells – My smeller is now more keen than a blood hound’s! I can smell anything you bring in my zip code and most of the time, it makes me gag. But sometimes it makes me so happy I could just cry! The other day Kevin was in the garage doing manly garage things that good husbands do. He walked in the door and all of the sudden I could smell the most wonderful aroma I had EVER laid a nostril on! Was it floral? Was it a perfume? Was it something delicious to eat?? I couldn’t tell, I just knew it was goooood. I wanted it! But I truly didn’t know what it could be. So I asked Kevin what is it that smells SOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOD? He already thinks I’m super weird even before pregnancy, so he looks at me like I’m an idiot and says “What? Gun Oil?” He’d been cleaning his shotgun in the garage and when he came in he wafted me with this deliriously yummy bouquet. That was it! Bring it to me! I love me some Hopees gun oil. I have no doubt that I will get gun oil in my stocking for the rest of my life. And I might try to get a gun oil massage out of it! mmmmmmm.......


Later!

Sex

Got your attention did I? Well, I promise not to fill up my blog with this kind of un-funny, silly stuff... but I have to ask if anyone else believes in all the weird "tests" you can do to find out the sex of your unborn baby? A friend at work the other day was doing the hair-through-the-wedding-ring-hanging-over-your-palm test (I think this is the technical name) and I received some interesting and exhilarating news! Keep in mind I have no preference about what "kind" of baby I'm having. As long as it's healthy and human, I can think of wonderful and SCARY things about both possibilities, so it matters not! According to the result.... my ring going from perfectly still to swinging in a straight line back and forth over my palm... we're having a boy! ALMOST everyone thinks I'm having a girl but ME... so this made me feel like a good, intuitive mother. Other pregnant girls in the office who know the sex of their baby had accurate "readings" from this fortune teller too! (And when it is a girl, it truly swung around in a big circle!!) Now I BELIEVE in the accuracy of this test. So can I just ask... has anyone else had this test done? And was it accurate? This is coming from the person who wanted NOTHING to do with finding out my baby's gender until we saw the goods with our own eyes on the birthday... but now I HAVE TO KNOW! If I could pay extra to find out early I would! Weird. So... let me know what you think! Soon, I'll be tinkling into a cup of drano... I'll keep you posted.

The REAL sisterhood of the travelling pants...

Dad's pants, that is. I'm sure we travelled a couple of feet in dad's pants before falling. We should really see about doing this again... We were always close... we didn't always like being close... like when Leslie sat on my head to keep me from telling on her, I didn't love the closeness. But, we couldn't be luckier to have each other. So that was then, and this in now... Some differences, probably can't still get in dad's pants together, although I think we should try. We love to have a good time, and we LOVE to laugh. Mostly at ourselves. We think we are the funniest people we know. My sis and I experienced another sad loss in our life this last week though. Many of you may know about Lowly.... corn snake extraordinaire... but for those who don't, Lowly was Leslie's pet since 6th grade. I was in 4th grade when she came to live with us. We have many good stories to share with you, from the day she came home "Over my mom's dead body" to the day she escaped her cage and we found her later, wrapped around one of Leslie's Madam Alexander dolls. She made friends with ALMOST every visitor to our home... except for a few especially wussy males who wouldn't give her a chance. She ate many a rodent.... an excellent trait I hold dear to my heart... as there is almost nothing I hate more than rodents. (almost...) Visited many a science classes, homerooms and show-and-tells. She educated the neighborhood with her National-Geographic-esque shedding of skin and constricting and swallowing of small rodents. She taught us that snake sperm can live in the body of a female for greater than 10 years! She laid two sets of eggs with babies in them... non-viable, but educational nonetheless. Had it not been for Lowly, I would probably not have the appreciation I do for this reptile. I'll pause here and remind you snake haters (those who are still reading) that without a little appreciation of snakes... I shudder to imagine our homes and neighborhoods over-run with the nasty little rodents they feast on. This is a pic of Lowly finishing her spaghetti-mouse dinner. After a few years of mishaps... we learned that if you put lowly in the bathtub with a little warm water about 2 days after she eats... she'll poop right there in the bathtub and you can clean it up so easily! How many of your pets can poop in the bathtub on command? (Don't worry, we never pooped her in our current house). I can just hear all the judgements you guys are hurling around about me putting my new baby in a snake poopy bathtub. So rest assured. Although Lowly was technically Leslie's' pet, always living in her room when we were growing up... she came to live with me (and Sara) at A&M during my sophomore year and moved with me out to Lubbock and back to Sherman and Allen. I was not only her aunt, but her adopted mother for a time. These were the best of times and the worst of times. She laid her second set of eggs (which we videotaped), she suffered from occasional seizures during the end of her life as well as some senility, we think, and we finally found her the PERFECT AstroTurf for her aquarium. We know she was content. Wouldn't you be with a life expectancy of 10-12 years... going on your 20th?? (At least 20 by the way, we are unsure of her age at the time we brought her home) We know she got some action... even if it was 20 years ago. And most of all we know she brought much joy, surprise and excitement into our lives. (Some day I'll elaborate on the excitement that precipitated 1. the diagnosis of Leslie's allergy to snake saliva and 2. Lowly's move from my house back to Plano to live with her real mom). So.... Lowly was buried this weekend... although we always planned on making some coin purses or shoes out of her after her death, we didn't plan well enough to execute this. We just didn't think she would EVER die. So... so long.... long friend. We love you. We miss you. We never thought we would say goodbye! You were a good and NOT slimy but smooth pet.

Did I mention that my sister is a VERY interesting human being? Not just the kind of girl who will bring home a pet snake in the 6th grade... but interesting in so many ways. You'll be lucky if you ever get to know her... And you'll know its her because.... well, you'll just know.

I'm 13 weeks now! Yes... still icky feeling... I don't even know how to elaborate, and I bet you don't want me to. We go back to the doc on Thursday... but I don't think we will get to see of find out anything good. But I will keep you all informed. This last pic is of my sister and I.... standing beneath our mantra... the code we live by... and believe in. I'm sure we've driven many people to the state mental hospital with this mindset. I suspect/ fear that a child of mine could inherit this trait. I wouldn't mind all that much... it WOULD be a relaxing and peaceful way to live but for all the nagging you have to hear all the time about "hurry up" and "we should have left 20 minutes ago." I'm not even going to elaborate on all the dramatic countdowns given to us by our father as he waited for us to finish getting ready. From now on all I can say is Kevin... Dad.... I'm sorry but Olafer said....

LATER!

Wen Betty

Meet my mom. (aka Momma, Betty, Mamasita, Nice Lady, Skipper and more..) In honor of the 2008 Summer Olympics beginning tonight, I titled this blog with her Chinese name. (I got this from one of my favorite Amy Tan books... I assume Amy knows what she's talking about although I've never verified that this actually means "Beautiful Betty") I thought I would just introduce you to her because everyone who knows Betty likes her. I’ve liked her for most of my life. :) She is fun. She always gets accused of being drunk, even without one sip or drop. Not by the police or anything, just by her daughters. She is fun and silly and so we sometimes can’t tell if she’s had a few or not. For example, did anyone else get this excited when NKOTB got back together?

These pics were all taken in May when my mom, my sister and I went to NYC (my first time!) My parents are puppy raisers for the Guide Dog foundation for the Blind, located in Smithtown, Long Island. After 11 months of socialization with my mom and dad, their second puppy was called back in for Boot Camp training. Emerald- (named by a “sponsor” who will pay ~$6000 to name a puppy…not my parents by the way, if they were to ever sponsor a puppy it would be “Abby” I’m sure) had to be returned after spending 24-7 going with my mom and dad EVERYWHERE they went. It’s a bit of a downer, until you get to go and see exactly what goes on in the process and the outcomes! Leslie and I got to go this time! We dropped Emerald off at the guide dog foundation, took a tour, said goodbye to Em, had dinner with one of the trainers and her 2 guide-dogs-in-training, and then got to go and see Alley!!! Alley was my parent’s first puppy, who now is a true-blue guide dog leading her blind handler, Grace. See some of her pics! The whole thing was completely inspiring. Then it was on to NYC to drown our sorrows…we sure missed Emerald and Alley.

(Alley waving goodbye...again)

I won't detail all of our big city experiences, but here’s one little story for your entertainment. Have you ever see those idiot Texan tourists who try to wear their loveliest summer flip flops as they walk through the city? You know… maybe they are right in front of a crowd at Radio City Music Hall when it begins to rain and they are ill-equipped to manage the wet terrain of the greasy, slimy city streets in their slick flops. Don’t you always roll your eyes and watch them just waiting for them to fall? So, yes I’m still embarrassed of my ignorant footwear choice that day, but I handled the fall so gracefully! I don’t know the name of the yoga position I ended up in but I bounced back up rather quickly after a few dazed and confused moments in the dirty street. NOT ONE PERSON offered to help me up! Not even after the second time it happened a couple of hours later in the middle of Rockefeller Center!! RUDENESS! I wasn’t injured except for a tiny hematoma on my pride that resolved within seconds after realizing that truly, NO ONE IN THIS CITY CARED! That’s the great thing about apathy… there can be very little humiliation. A few more pics for you… You just think that rickshaw is full... But here comes Abby too!

A truly scary 10 minute ride we never should have been allowed to take.

Later!

http://www.guidedog.org/