Sniff this!

First of all… I’m mad at all of you… no one answered my question in my sex blog… (except Sara… love ya thara) So unless I get some answers, I think that is the end of my attempt at interactive blogging.

There are SO MANY weird things about being pregnant! I have compiled a few for you. (For my ultra conservative friends, I promise not to get graphic… I know many of you still fear that everything I say and write will just go TOO FAR….so I'm keeping it appropriate for general audiences) Speaking of, I just finished reading Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy. This is the book she wrote about her own pregnancy. Graphic…YES! Vulgar…YES! Full of bad language…YES! Funny…OH YES!!! So I can’t exactly “recommend” it because some of you would be horribly offended, but it’s a funny twist on real life, and that’s how I roll. You know going into it that she is pretty raunchy and used to be a Playboy Playmate, so you kind of have it coming if you pick it up…

BACK TO THE LIST:

Naps – I have never been a big nap taker or sleeper… I tend to fight it, because I’m afraid that Val Kilmer is going to knock softly on my front door and if I’m asleep… I’ll miss him!! I have had this fear since adolescence! (I also don’t want to miss Johnny Depp if he stops by) So, naps are hard for me. But since I got knocked up…. EXHAUSTION like I didn’t know existed… And when the acute phase happens and I feel like I might die if I don’t sleep… I say “I’m just going to lie down for 30 minutes” and 3 hours later when I wake up, I’m still tired! One weekend, I took a total of 8 hours worth of naps! No doubt this is when Val came by. Dang it!

The crying game - This is weird and embarrassing and oh so pointless. Just a few of the things I have cried about… 1.I was in the grocery store feeling like puking and I smelled the fish at the meat counter. I held my nose, ran my cart across the store and then cried. 2.When I realized that I had to go back to the grocery store the next week, I cried thinking about how I could not avoid the meat counter to get the things on my list. 3.Yesterday when I saw someone driving in the HOV lane with only one person in the car…I can’t believe this is the kind of world I am bringing my child into! 4.I was craving carbs and went to Church’s Chicken to get some mashed potatoes and corn on the cob. My order “Side of Mashed Potatoes -no gravy- and a corn on the cob.” He repeated my order and I said “NO GRAVY ON THE MASHED POTATOES right?” as loud as I could through the drive through speaker. When I got to the window and he gave me the bag with my order, I said “did you get NO GRAVY on the potatoes?” He looked at me crazy and said “Yes.” So I drive away. The only thing that would have been worse at that moment than finding cream gravy on my mashed potatoes, was the horror that I did find…a tiny scoop of potatoes drowning in the middle of the bowl of BROWN GRAVY! I parked and cried. 5. This one is Kevin’s favorite… I’m walking around the house and he hears “sniff-sniff.” Perplexed, he asks “Are you crying?” Me – “sniff sniff… yes” Kevin – “Why? what’s wrong?” Me – “sniff… I don’t know – waaahahaaaa!” 6. One particularly sickly day I had been able to keep very little down, I finally was able to eat an entire blueberry muffin without getting sick… but 30 minutes later when I puked it up, all I could do was blubber about my wasted muffin.

CRAVINGS – This is kind of fun, because when else do you indulge your cravings? Chocolate Teddy Grahams, Fried Okra, Ketchup, Cocoa Krispies, Hot Wings… to name a few! I craved a donut, but haven’t had one yet. Unfortunately I can only stomach a tiny bit of these items… But its fun to just go purchase and eat something and never give its nutritional value a second thought!

Smells – My smeller is now more keen than a blood hound’s! I can smell anything you bring in my zip code and most of the time, it makes me gag. But sometimes it makes me so happy I could just cry! The other day Kevin was in the garage doing manly garage things that good husbands do. He walked in the door and all of the sudden I could smell the most wonderful aroma I had EVER laid a nostril on! Was it floral? Was it a perfume? Was it something delicious to eat?? I couldn’t tell, I just knew it was goooood. I wanted it! But I truly didn’t know what it could be. So I asked Kevin what is it that smells SOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOD? He already thinks I’m super weird even before pregnancy, so he looks at me like I’m an idiot and says “What? Gun Oil?” He’d been cleaning his shotgun in the garage and when he came in he wafted me with this deliriously yummy bouquet. That was it! Bring it to me! I love me some Hopees gun oil. I have no doubt that I will get gun oil in my stocking for the rest of my life. And I might try to get a gun oil massage out of it! mmmmmmm.......


Later!