Friday night Leah and I got home from visiting with friends just about her bedtime. (Kevin was out of town doing a little hunting.) When we got out of the car we heard Beans barking in the backyard, which is very unusual. Whining would not be strange, but barking, almost NEVER happens... except for when there is a rabbit or a cat (or worse) in the backyard. I knew what it was instinctively. I grabbed the flashlight and walked carefully (Leah up in my arms) around the side of the yard to shine the light on Beans.
Before I even turned the flashlight on... I saw it... the round shape atop the fence was back-lit, but I knew for sure what it was... Yes... there was a nasty (o)possum having a staring contest with Beans from it's perch high up on the fence. It was just in front of the gated dog-run area, Bean Arena. Beans stopped barking and just stared. None of us moved for what seemed like ages. My adrenaline was pumping like crazy...
(If you haven't been a reader of our blog since the beginning, you may not know of my hatred for these creatures. So be my guest and
read all about it here.)
My pulse quickened when I turned on the flashlight and it shone on the 2 foot long rat tail hanging down the fence. But the rodent didn't move even then. So I did what made sense to me... I yelled at it. And then I banged on the fence (from at least 15 yards away.) All I wanted to do was get Beans out of Bean Arena and go inside away from the overgrown rat. But there it was... right between us... threatening to pounce if I dared walk by.
Leah and I retreated into the house where I began to run around like a lunatic. I am 100% sure that in 30 years when her therapist asks about her earliest memories, she will say "I remember it was dark and my mom look wild-eyed as she paced around the house turning off lights and opening blinds yelling through the windows to 'GET OFF MY FENCE!'"
Just as a quick side note.... I'm actually pretty calm and collected under pressure... unless the pressure is from giant rodents or a particular detestable insect. During those times, I probably need to be medicated. No, not probably...
Anyway, the only view I can get of this thing is out Leah's bedroom window so there we are, almost 9 pm now as we stare together out the window at the possum that taunts our Baby Beans. Kevin finally calls me back after I'd left a couple of messages for him. I explain the situation and he helpfully suggests that I "just walk by" the rodent-of-unusual-size and get Beans. I say something like, "Thank you for that suggestion. I hadn't thought of it. However, I probably will not. Where is the pellet gun?" (I'm just summarizing, you see, the adrenaline has clouded out the actual words spoken here.)
Beans begins to bark again. Leah says "Beans bark! Oooooh! Off.Fence.Possom!" I say, "That's right Leah, you tell that possum to get the HECK OFF OUR FENCE!" She giggles and goes back to staring at the possum and then follows me around the house as I make my next moves. Kevin is driving in the middle of no-where so his phone is breaking up and now he's calling me and texting me with 2-3 word helps at a time. Finally he says... "Don't get a gun, call one of the neighbors."
I call the neighbor that shares the fence in question and explain my situation asking them if they can try to help me shew the possum away from their side. They inform me that Beans had been barking a LONG time before we got home and that when they realized the problem they began pelting the critter with ice cubes to try and scare it off. So, for more than an hour now this thing has just been getting madder and madder at humans... EVEN BETTER!
I was on the phone with another friend about this time and she suggests I throw an apple at it. My neighbor thought this was a good idea too... along with trying to lure the critter away with an open can of tuna in the front yard. I discouraged feeding the evil pest and continued, at my friend's suggestion, to find something to throw at it. Looking back now I'm glad I didn't throw the apple because I would have most definitely overthrown due to the rush I was experiencing and the stray apple in the neighbor's yard would have attracted even more vermin to our yards. I did throw some dog toys at the fence below it... spiking it on the tail once and getting the heebie-geebies all over when I made it turn around... Uggg... now its headed at me and not Beans! Back inside...
Leah and I take up our post in her bedroom window again with the phones and flashlights. Buckets of ice seem to be coming over our fence now... the neighbors are trying to stone the thing to death I guess. Now back on the phone with Kevin he suggests we try to "scare it away" from the front yard. I guess he thought if we went to the front yard and made alot of racket it would run towards the back and get lost. He says to me "It's just scared to death... it's trapped between y'all and Beans and can't get away." Now... whether this is true or not... this is not what I need to hear right now.
I go back in the backyard and see if I can come up with a strategic frontal attack... And now I'm having some moments of weakness. I am now SYMPATHIZING with the creature that might just be scared to death sitting on top of our fence post trying to get away. I really did begin to feel sorry for it... which didn't help the situation that was quickly heating up. I hear a strange noise... sounds like a bicycle pump... no... the neighbor says through the fence, "I borrowed a pellet gun." He's getting ready to shoot this animal that I all of the sudden have feelings of compassion for... THANKS KEVIN!
It was a clean head shot, though when it fell INTO MY SIDE OF THE YARD it took a few steps in attempt to escape before curling up and dying... right in the path that I need to walk through to get Beans... I mean smack dab in the middle of a 3 foot wide path that leads to Bean Arena. "It's dead... just walk by it" you say?? IT IS A POSSUM!!! THEY ARE MASTERS OF THE ART OF "PLAYING POSSUM!" How do I know its really dead? I'm going crazy here. Back we go to the post in Leah's room where I can keep an eye on the "dead" creature... which I now feel so very sorry for... and I'm wondering if she was a momma possum and are her baby possums going to be ok without her!?!? Oh Kevin is in BIG trouble for this.
The overgrown rodent is sort of curled up on its side... very still... very dead. I wait a few minutes more and then I tell Leah to come wait for mommy at the screen door to the back yard. I'm gonna go get Beans. As I sneak by it, moving ever-so-slowly, I notice the giant rat tail coiled up like a cinnamon roll. I almost cry, I almost throw up... all at the same time. I get to Beans and open her gate, now having to control an 80 lb, over-stimulated puppy and keep her from getting too close to this thing as we go back by it again.
We made it. As we came in the door, Leah was saying "GO WAY POSSUM!" I notified all parties who'd been involved of the final outcome. The next morning the animal control "lady" came by and picked it up in a black trash bag. I told Kevin I was really surprised by the trash bag... I expected something more official.
Most of my compassion for the critter has now worn off. Leah continues to wake up every morning talking about the possum on her fence. I am exceedingly careful outside in the dark now, in case there are hungry possom babies looking for their mama, I don't want to be caught off gaurd.
Here is a picture of some possum hair on our fence. It was an impressive 2.5 hours spent in one position.
And here is a picture of the bloody crime scene after the body had been taken away.
R.I.P.
But she couldn't get enough of the bunnies. She liked the pig too, but wouldn't touch it. It was like she knew it wasn't as soft. (Maybe because I said "
Aunt Leslie's farm would be full of goats. Or maybe if the goats had a farm, it would be full of Aunt 
I feel like 21 months is still reasonable to tell people... but I do find myself wondering if the receiver of the information is having a hard time with math that day, like I sometimes do... so sometimes I opt for "one and a half." (also a lie) Wow... do I sound neurotic or what? 
