And a back-ordered-quiver-duck-butt

You have to sing it to the tune of "and a partridge in a pear tree" to get the full holiday effect. So, I finally tried to obey all of the mother-types in my life (including my mother) and not be up on my feet and running around all day and night doing too much working and shopping and this and that.
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I ordered a bunch of Christmas gifts online. I was careful only to hit the "PURCHASE" button on things that clearly said IN STOCK next to them, so I would be sure to have peace about my Christmas shopping. And even paid the extra rush shipping fee on one or two things that I ordered a little late. (Normally I would NOT do that... pay ANYTHING extra... but this little girl is precious and I would like it if she would keep cooking for a few more weeks...7 more to be exact.) Yesterday, much to my chafrown (this is what the word chagrin should actually look like... chagrin sounds so happy!) I received an email from TWO different online stores saying happily "Your order will be arriving on 12/22!" But then as I read further down it says "one or more of your items was out of stock and is now on back order." Ummmm..... then why did it tell me SEVERAL days ago, before I pushed the button and wasted SEVERAL more shopping days, that it was IN STOCK?? Just what am I going to put under the tree in place of my precious husband's quiver duck butt?? And as I say this to myself, I realize that I must have crossed over... long ago and without even noticing... into the land of full-fledged red neckedness.
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I've joked about it before (click what color is my neck? to see a photo), and of course I've always known Kevin is a serious redneck masquerading around downtown Dallas in his suit and tie looking like a serious professional. But it got me thinking today about a few things that made me realize I was no longer just laughing at "You might be a redneck" jokes... I am the joke. You might be a redneck woman...
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1. If you know the difference between a hen and a drake, a buck and a doe, a spike and a fawn... (of course many of you may know the difference between these animals and are beginning to worry that you too may unknowingly be a redneck.... don't worry... this fact alone does not make you one, but if it is combined with one or more of the other facts... you might begin to worry)

2. If you know exactly what happens to a mallard drake's eyeballs when you put a whole one, completely intact, in your deep freeze....

3. If you have a deep freeze (that you gave to your husband as a Christmas gift)

4. If you get upset when your quiver duck butt is not going to be delivered in time for Christmas.

5. If you know what a "bumper dumper" is, and not because you saw one in an email you received with photos making fun of rednecks, but because your husband has one (that he uses OFTEN) and you recommended that he use it as a prop in the upcoming pumpkin carving contest.

6. If you are looking all over town for a onesie for your unborn baby and a matching dog bed in Max4 camouflage pattern and are genuinely upset when you have to settle for Mossy Oak breakup pattern for these items.

7. When you know all the different places to shop for the aforementioned items, and the differences in the two camouflage patterns. (In case you're wondering, this is the pattern I was looking for, for the baby girl and her big sister Beans' new dog bed.... and there are a few green winged teal drakes in Kevin's hand!)
So -- I must begin to accept this fact. I thought I was a strong independent woman with my own identity, but I realize I am just exactly what being married to Kevin has made me. Here is a photo of an 8 point buck (well, just the points I guess... not the buck) that Kevin shot after Thanksgiving. I thought I would throw it into this posting because, whether he likes it or not, this is his blog too.

I still don't know what to do about the duck butt... I guess Kevin will just be getting a belated Christmas present. One last thing, if a company as large as the one that I ordered this product from is COMPLETELY OUT of duck butts at Christmas time, doesn't that mean that there are LOTS of redneck wives and moms like me out there who are buying these bizarre Christmas gifts? That's alot of duck butts!

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas! If you're not feeling it this year remember we're celebrating the birth of Christ our Savior. That's a darn good reason to get in the spirit. Whether you believe it or not, he was born and died for YOU, for no other reason than that He loves you!